The Perfect Mothers Day Gift

Nobody is more interested in your success than your mother is. Not even you. Mothers pour their heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into insuring their children are successful. Go to any school honors day, any event celebrating achievement, or any graduation and the happiest people there are mothers. Mothers usually also make up the largest part of the audience at these events. Oh, there are plenty of fathers too, but there are more mothers and they are clearly more involved with the program. After all, who made you do your homework, shuttled you back and forth to band practice, and waited for you for hours at your different events? Your mother. Who packed your lunch, made you dinner every night, and cleaned up after you? Your mother. Who made sure you registered for the SAT and ACT on time, made sure you got your college applications done on time, and made certain that you dotted every I and crossed every T on every application? Your mother. I could go on, but I believe you see the point – your mother has more time and energy  invested in your success that you do. That is why your success is the ultimate mother’s day gift. More than anything you can give her, she wants to see the fruits of her labor lead to a happy and successful life for her children. So Mom, I am happy, healthy, and financially successful. Truly, I have received many blessings in my life, but first and foremost, I was blessed with a great mother. 

YO MOMMA

Nobody loves you like your momma. Regardless of your shortcomings, failings, or mistakes – your momma loves you. Perhaps that is why “yo momma” put downs are so successful at stirring people up. We all know that our momma is the one person in this world that loves us unconditionally. Attacking our momma is worse than attacking us. I am an expert on mommas because I have one and I am married to another.  Mommas are the toughest people on earth. Only a momma can endure nine months of physical hardship leading up to birth. A weaker being would not make it. The reward for enduring months of physically exhausting body changes is birth: the most physically excruciating event a human can experience. How do I know this? I was with my wife both times when she gave birth to our two beautiful children. She endured 24 hours of labor – the first 12 hours with no drugs – just backrubs. The final 12 hours with intravenous narcotics to “take the edge off.” I am pretty sure I could not have done that. Like I said – mommas are tough. Nobody is more interested in your well being than your momma. I know my own mother kept me from harm more than once when I was too stupid to recognize the life hazards before me. I specifically remember her sternly warning me to keep out of the old television set in the basement – telling me that you could receive a fatal electrical shock even if the set was unplugged. I thought, but did not dare say: “That is stupid. You can’t possible get shocked if it is not plugged in.” Neither I nor momma knew anything about capacitors, but she had read that experimenting inside the TV was dangerous, so she kept me away. Years later I learned that CRT screens had large capacitors capable of holding thousands of volts – enough to deliver a fatal shock! Momma was right! Momma knows things you don’t even if she can’t explain them. Your momma is more interested in your success than you are. At a recent high school honors night it was revealed that my son was tenth in a class of approximately 300. He thought that was pretty good. His momma wanted to know why he was so far down the list. She knows that he is extremely talented and has been coasting a bit. His sister just graduated from Vanderbilt with a degree in Biomedical Engineering and has accepted a job making more than I did after 20 years of teaching. I noticed that the proudest people with the broadest grins were not the graduates, but the mommas, witnessing the fruits of many years of labor. So let me tell you what I know about your momma – Yo Momma is AWESOME!