Fathers Day 2016

I traditionally do a father’s day posting to my blog. This is the first father’s day since dad passed away on December 21, 2015 - one day past his 62nd wedding anniversary. He would have been 90 in January. Up until the last month or so, he got up every morning and made bacon and eggs. We used to grocery shopping together. At first he pushed the grocery buggy around, using it like a walker. Then as he got weaker he started using the motorized scooters. The last time we went shopping, I was not sure he could maneuver the scooter, so I pushed him in his wheel chair. It did not take long for me to realize my oversight – there was no place to put groceries! He could look at all the groceries, but we had no place to put them. I circled back and got a buggy. Now I was pushing dad with one hand and pulling the buggy with the other. However, I was not doing a particularly good job – which dad noticed. He offered to push the buggy. I reluctantly agreed to let him try. So I pushed his wheel chair and he leaned forward a bit and pushed the buggy. We must have been a sight! As funny as it must have looked, dad had helped solve the problem. You see, he was all about solving problems. Looking back, I realize what a blessing those outings to the grocery store were. If you pay attention, you can find meaning in the most mundane parts of life. I really miss those trips to the grocery store.

Lynn Stanfield's 89th Birthday January 30, 2015
Richard, Dad, Sally, Carter (me)

Be Part of the Solution

My father lost his battle with cancer early on the morning of December 21, 2015. When someone dies there begins a very busy period where family and friends come together to take care of all the details associated with final arrangements as well as to figure out how everyone whose lives were closely knitted to the deceased will regroup and continue with the business of living. In a peculiar twist, a house that has just been overcome by the shadow of death overflows with life. A neighbor called in the midst of this activity. I answered the phone and was mistaken for dad. The neighbor did not know dad had died, and I did not correct her. Instead, I just listened because I could tell she was upset and needed help. The mail carrier had already been by her house and had not come up to the house to bring the mail. She had two letters she needed to mail and feared that she had missed her chance. She is legally blind, and so tries to void walking down to the street. I explained that I was not dad, but his son. However, I said that I would be glad to take her letters and see that they were mailed today. I walked down to the neighbor’s house, got the letters, found the mail carrier, and handed over the letters. You see, dad’s neighbors had gotten used to turning to him when they needed a solution. One of dad’s mantras was “be part of the solution, not part of the problem.” I was glad to help dad be part of the solution one more time.